Defining Your Essence

Today, I invite you to ask yourself this question… “What Is Your Essence Yearning For?”  This is a question that Martha Beck often poses.  She's a best-selling author, a Harvard educated sociologist, and a life coach for Oprah Winfrey.  She often says that we have two selves — our social self and our essential self.  She states…

Our brain is trained to take social cues, and do what is expected and what pleases others.  That is our social self.  But our essential self represents the very essence of who we are as human beings.  That is our inherent self — what we were born with — whether we live in America or anywhere else in the world.

Every day when we wake up, we have two choices: Do what society says or do what our essence says.  You're either going to imitate or create.  Those are our two options.

So ask yourself, “What do you want to be?”  That's a question for everybody.  Best-selling author Elizabeth Gilbert has an answer.  She says…

Life is a work of art every single day.  The less you choose to imitate and the more you choose authenticity, the more that it becomes a muscle.

That's powerful!  I say exercise the muscle.  I try to every day.  Choose Authenticity.  Authenticity, above charisma, any day.  That will bring all the important facets of our life, business, social, spiritual, family.  It brings it all into such harmony that the person looking at your performance in these roles will know what kind of person you really are.  Life sometimes should be an adventure that you control.

So when you ask yourself… “Who do I want to be?” you'll know.  You'll know right away.  Now look, life is about moderation.  Life is about living in balance.  Life is about pleasing yourself, of course, but pleasing others, too.  Life is about giving more than receiving.  William Bartley said it best…

Always give without remembering.  Always receive without forgetting.

So life is about reciprocity too.  And sometimes we have to adjust to the circumstances in which we find ourselves.  But at all times, at all times, we cannot negotiate the character that resides within us, the values that we adhere too, because those are the things that make life worth living.

Have a great week.