Courage & Criticism

When I was a young man just starting out as a speaker, I wanted to gain more insight into my strengths, into my weaknesses, and what I needed to improve.  It's a wonderful exercise all of us would benefit from… What are you good at, and what are you not good at, and what must you learn so you can become good at it?

So for the presentations I gave, I created an evaluation, a survey that an audience at the end of a speech would kindly fill them out anonymously and leave them behind for me to collect.  I reviewed every evaluation one by one, sometimes painfully so I must admit.  I found them mostly to be quite positive.  People are kind and gentle, and they will be encouraging and give you nice compliments, but there were always a few from people who didn't like my presentation.  Sometimes ninety liked it and five didn't like it and some even hated it.

Now, the constructive criticism I received did help.  I would improve from that input and that feedback.  But the handful of hateful reviews, or negative I should say, did not.  Those critiques hurt, and for months, I was still over them, wondering what I needed to do differently.  Finally, I made myself stop right then and there.  I made a decision.  Stick to what you believe is right and don't obsess over viewpoints you cannot change.

Norman Vincent Peale, the one who wrote the most famous book in history for many years called "The Power Of Positive Thinking,” answers the question "How do you deal with criticism?”  He said…

Here's how I do it.  I listen to the criticism, I analyze it, I learn from it, I improve, but I don't let it hover over me.  It would be a destructive force.

So my friend, we're blessed to live in a country where we have such freedom of expression.  Yes, our country does have its flaws, but the freedoms we have make us the greatest country in the world.  There will always be people who aren't happy with what you do.  You can count on that.  Still, that should not stop you from doing what you believe is right, as long as you do it with civility and respect, and allow other people to have their own domain too.  Think of these words from poet E.E. Cummings…

Once we Believe In Ourselves, we can risk curiosity, and wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit to believe in ourselves, with God's grace, and help, and guidance.

That my friend is the key.  Critics will always be there.  You cannot control that.  What you can control are your own choices.  What you can control is how you respond to that.  In the face of criticism, even the harshest and most painful you can imagine, here's the choice you have to make… Decide who you are.  Then stand by that decision based on values, and principles, and tenants, that make your life worthwhile and your cause worthy.

Have a great week.